[ Xue Yang is here on his own. And this space is so expansive that there's no way he'd just coincidentally bump into Xiao Xingchen, so there was no need for him to be in disguise at the moment. Or at least, that was his thought.
During his wandering through the funhouse, one of the portraits had caught his attention. It seemed familiar yet not, somehow, and though he instantly guessed it was the hotel being strange again that didn't stop him from taking a few steps closer.
But then a voice calls out to him and snaps him back to the present, startling him and immediately freezing him in place afterwards. Xiao Xingchen is here?... Can he see? Can he not?
There's only one safe option for Xue Yang here. Without responding he slips a candy in his mouth and immediately swallows, then walks down the hall and away from Xiao Xingchen. He needs to buy himself just a bit of time as he tries to set his disguise in place before the man manages to get a look at him. ]
[Xiao Xingchen hesitates at first as he sees the figure move in the direction away from him as he calls out. Is it an apparition of the hotel? Or someone who can't hear him?
He starts to walk closer, trying to makes sense as he approaches, but he doesn't want to rush over and startle them. Though as he gets closer, he notices one of the paintings on the walls. The surprise is great enough that he turns away from the figure for a moment to look at the painting more closely.
It's of a young woman in the kind of clothing that he can recognize. Her eyes appear clouded and white, and she carries a bamboo stick in her hands.
Though he had never seen her before, he can't help but wonder as he looks closer...]
Pretending not to hear he continues forwards, making his way further into the building along the strange hallway. By now he's become used to arranging his face without a reflection to look at, so the process goes smoothly. By the time he's pulling out a fake pinky from the stub on his left hand, Xiao Xingchen's footsteps behind him have already--
--stopped?
Why did he stop?
Xue Yang turns around in surprise and catches sight of what Xiao Xingchen, then what he's looking at. Before he thinks to stop himself he blurts out, ]
Little Blind?
[ Why is a picture of her here? Did she get brought here too? ]
[Xiao Xingchen's gaze is pulled over towards the figure, now revealed to be his friend without a name. He briefly wonders why he didn't react to Xiao Xingchen's presence at first, but he can suppose that he was still confused with where he is, given the state of this place. He's too surprised by the other sight before him to give it much thought for the time being.]
You're here, too...
[His voice sounds absent as he turns to look back at the painting, expression soft and wistful.
Life has turned out to be more strange than he could have ever expected. Actually having the chance to see his friend once felt outside the realm of possibility, but A-Qing as well? He had thought he no longer needed to think of the old coffin house as his home anymore, resigned to believing that A-Qing would surely get along fine without him, as long as she made sure to not do anything too bold. Now seeing her, he feels a pang in his heart. The matters of his heart have only become even more complicated in this place.
At least back then, he could pretend he had put the past behind him as he preoccupied himself with that uneventful life.]
[ Outside of Xiao Xingchen's focus, Xue Yang's eyes narrow. Still, he evens his tone a bit as he walks over. ]
Yeah. Small, ugly, has those eyes that can't see anything.
[ There's annoyance in his voice, though not quite contempt. ]
Wonder what a picture of her is doing--
[ But his voice suddenly catches as his gaze lands on a different portrait. A few spots down from A-Qing, understated for how shocking the subject is, is another familiar face. But this isn't someone left behind where they came from, or even before that: this is Xiao Xingchen.
His clothes are a memory, stolen from him here and never returned, the familiar mostly-white robes those of bygone days. Their color makes the red on them all the more stark, a crimson pouring from a deep gash in his neck, the oil paint with candlelight dancing on it almost making it look freshly-spilled. Similarly stained are the bandages across his eyes, as if tears but not, a sight Xue Yang hasn't seen for an even longer time.
He doesn't finish his sentence. He's already forgotten what he was even saying. ]
[Xiao Xingchen is pulled from his amazement from seeing his other companion, shaking his head in light exasperation.]
Must I keep the peace even when you two aren't together?
[He never perceived their bickering as anything other than just that. The two of them were simply so similar on some level that they couldn't help butting heads, it felt like.
But as his friend cuts off, Xiao Xingchen looks up as well. Is there something dangerous here? Looking to his friend, he follows the man's gaze.
By now, he had come to believe that he was used to this place's tricks. Usually it was a matter of being inconvenienced for the purpose of having sex, likely because the entire place had to be some sort of cauldron. The place had all matter of technology to make their lives convenient to help towards that end, and so it was easy to forget about the other side of it all: the hotel's dark and violent nature.]
I-I... what is...
[His throat tightens, making it difficult to choke out his words, the feeling only worse as his gaze fixes onto the gash across his portrait's neck.]
[ Xue Yang continues to stare, eyes wide, unmoving for a good several seconds.
Then suddenly a sharp bark of laughter pierces the air, and the corners of his mouth twist upwards. ]
Really? Really? [ His next laugh slips out without any breath to it. ] You're gonna--try to show us this? Some bullshit like this? Do you really think we'd take this seriously?!
[ But his expression freezes again as Xiao Xingchen's voice drifts over, a ragged whisper, its direction distinctly not from the man next to him.
[Xiao Xingchen's own voice - saying something never said - chills him to his very core as the words ring in his ears, but he knows he must keep his wits about him. It could be a diversion for something else preparing to attack. He mustn't forget the instincts he's honed for a night hunt, no matter how comfortable this place may be.
He takes a quick glance to his sides and tries to sense if anything might approach.
Clearing his throat, he manages a calmer tone, even if he can't rid himself of the slight quaver in his voice.]
Come, do not pay it any mind. Surely it's some cruel idea of a trick.
[He steps back, which gives him a clearer view of all the portraits nearby. To the other side of A-Qing's portrait, he sees many other faces he can recognize from their world. One of them appears without a head, with the only clue to his identity being that of a muscular upper body. He doesn't have much time to give that much thought as he looks to the other side to find another face.
Xue Yang.
Facial features older and more haggard, blood flowing freely from where his arm once was... all the life drained from his eyes.
Xiao Xingchen forgets his own advice as he stares again, wordless.]
[ Xue Yang keeps his gaze on the portrait for several seconds longer, his eyes roaming the picture, taking in every detail--that's right, it has to be a trick. It has to be. Just this place fucking with them again...
And only after realizing he's still staring does he manage to forcibly tear his gaze away. Back to Xiao Xingchen, distinctly alive and uninjured. But his expression now--
Xue Yang knows immediately that he shouldn't look and yet his gaze follows the direction of Xiao Xingchen's face anyway, and he feels his heart stutter at what he sees. That's... that's himself. But he realizes it immediately, there's something off. His facial structure is slightly different from the one he sees in the mirror, and those clothes... he's never worn those before. So is this just a picture crafted by someone who doesn't quite know what he looks like? Or is it supposed to be far in the future from his present self?
--He's not supposed to recognize himself, he belatedly realizes, and forcibly turns his gaze to Xiao Xingchen once more. ]
... Daozhang?
[ His throat feels dryer than he expected it to. ]
[Xiao Xingchen is too focused on the portrait to notice what the other man is doing until he calls out for him. He doesn't hesitate in turning away and giving a tilt of his head, motioning for the man to follow. Though he tries to look collected enough to focus, the color has drained from his own face in turn.]
Let's leave this place.
[He would much rather brave the challenges and dangers of the other rooms than stay here any longer.
Fist so tight it shakes, he strides towards the threshold of next room.
The room ahead appears to be a tunnel with an illusion within making it appear to spin. It's nothing like he's ever seen before, and even more disorienting than the rooms before, but it doesn't slow his approach. If anything, the look of it seems to be distracting enough for his thoughts. At least he can focus on what to do next, rather than consider his feelings at this moment.]
[ Xue Yang can see the lack of composure in Xiao Xingchen, but for some reason he doesn't feel like teasing him about it today. His eyes unconsciously fall to the location of Xiao Xingchen's neck, currently obscured behind his hair. He's used to seeing the suit on the back of it when he gets glimpses, but for some reason right now he finds himself not wanting to see it. He's glad that even if he does it'll be black, colorless, not red like he's seen on some others.
... Why is he even dwelling on this? It's stupid. No one would be able to land such a blow on Xiao Xingchen of all people. He would only be able to if he crushed him first, and that weird voice had blamed him for whatever happened. Or Xiao Xingchen? But probably him.
His own portrait was painted wrong, too. It's stupid to dwell on this.
Following close, Xue Yang reaches the threshold of the strange tunnel soon after Xiao Xingchen, and pauses only to quickly observe it and make sure it's actually steady. But no, double-checking it, it's just a trick that makes it seem like it's spinning. He follows Xiao Xingchen in...
... and the moment both of them are inside, the floor seems to give a lurch to the side that's slow yet sudden at the same time. Even with a cultivator's balance, Xue Yang finds himself unexpectedly stumbling. ]
[Xiao Xingchen reaches out to take hold of his friend by the arm, acting upon two instincts at once: to steady his friend, as well as himself. He's lost the sureness of his footing, the very thought of it being strange and unfamiliar. As he holds onto his friend, he now worries if he might fall and take the man down with him, rather than supporting him.]
A-Ah... hold on!
[Even if one of them might make the other fall, it's better that they hold onto each other.
The words won't help in trying to not stumble, however, and he steps towards the middle of the path only to feel as if his feel are being pushed back towards the side.]
[ Xue Yang feels something similar, but now with Xiao Xingchen's momentum also affecting him. He also tries to regain his footing, but before he realizes it he's already gone sideways, and his hand goes out in a desperate attempt to keep his head from hitting into it.
"Xue Yang...!"
The moment his hand presses to the wall, while he's still reeling, Xue Yang hears a voice angrily call his name and he immediately freezes. Because it isn't just any voice... It's Xiao Xingchen's voice.
When? How? What gave him away? Why is Xiao Xingchen saying something now of all times? These and a hundred other thoughts race through his head as Xue Yang fails to actually keep himself on his feet and instead finishes his fall, ending in a leaning half-squat against the wall. ]
[Xiao Xingchen turns to look back at the other man, looking worried. Did he trip or fall? As cultivators, they're certainly not used to this kind of feeling. Even if they're not used to many a thing in this place, something as basic as their balance taken from them has to be more alarming than most.
Noticing that the man is braced against the wall, he tries to ready himself to catch himself on it as well.
Just as his fingertips press against the cool surface, vertigo overtakes him. He thought the room felt as if it was spinning before, he loses all of his sense of up or down. The lights swirl altogether before him, rearranging themselves into bizarre patterns and flashing different colors. He's thrown completely off his guard-- the color hadn't returned to his face, and he breaks out into a cold sweat as he winces from his sickening feeling.
Eventually, the lights begin to form an image. Blurry at first, but something is surely there. He tries to focus his gaze, even if he hasn't needed to do that for a long time. A frigid breeze sweeps around him, and he can feel snow in the air, landing on skin uncovered by white robes.
He doesn't need long to recognize the scene once it becomes more distinct.
This was Lanling during the winter that he was there with Song Lan. Why was he there? He wasn't entirely sure, but he had enjoyed the sights and smells of a large city, going on about all these new things to his companion. While they toured the food stalls, the two of them had heard a commotion, and went to intervene. Xiao Xingchen had arrived a moment later as Song Lan had already readied for combat with a young man in Lanling Jin clothing.
The young man bared his fangs at the two of them, glaring and contemptuous, yet Xiao Xingchen did not feel any fear or anger in turn. All Xiao Xingchen saw was someone who could surely be set back onto the righteous path.]
Xue Yang...
[He says the name softly, full of uncertain emotions. Was he truly dead?]
[ It may be soft, but it's more than enough for Xue Yang to hear. He goes to push himself to his feet and immediately stumbles again, so rather than risk toppling over a second time he settles into a sitting position on the floor of his own volition.
It's only then that his gaze drags across the floor and over to Xiao Xingchen. He doesn't look like he's doing much better than Xue Yang is, also needing to brace himself against the wall in this bizarre room. A wry grin comes to Xue Yang's face, but for some reason he doesn't feel like actually laughing. He thinks Xiao Xingchen probably isn't looking at him, but it's always stupidly hard to tell when his sight doesn't come from eyes.
He never would have expected his ruse to come undone so unceremoniously, with Xiao Xingchen simply calling his name like it was almost nothing. He had always figured it would be some grand reveal that he'd gloat about, laugh in Xiao Xingchen's face about how naive he'd been yet again. But like this, even gloating felt out of place. As if this was normal already. ]
Daozhang Xiao Xingchen. [ When he speaks, he's dropped the change in his voice. He shifts a little in an attempt to sit up straighter, hold his chin up like he isn't one small tip from falling over again. He's grinning, but it somehow lacks any sense of smugness. ] So what are you gonna do now?
[Xiao Xingchen had expected this, for a moment, to unfold like a memory. He did still sometimes think of the past, thoughts flowing back to him while alone and unoccupied with other matters, despite telling himself to not dwell upon it. Quickly he cast such thoughts aside the moment something took his attention away. Seeing the portrait of Xue Yang - apparently now dead - threatened to break through a dam built up over time, his first course of action being to focus on escaping this place with his friend.
Yet he's now confronted by that man in the portrait, back when he was young and Xiao Xingchen had no idea of his crimes. Not only in thoughts coursing through his mind like one being forced to watch the films of the hotel, but the memory is outright asking him, sitting down casually before him.
The other figures within the memory stand as still as statues, the rest of the world in that memory unimportant at this moment.]
I--
[His mouth moves, but those are the only words that can come out at first. He pushes out a breath of air as he lowers his head and his shoulders slump. Trying to think about what he feels while still needing to mind his step the entire time isn't helping at all, so after a moment, he smooths over the lower part of his robes before kneeling down onto the floor.
If this is just a memory toying with him, it doesn't matter what he says, surely.]
I don't know. I don't even know what I should feel. [He laughs softly, despite himself, his forehead in his hand.] Everything about back then... it's so far away from where I am now.
[Not only his separation from cultivation society, but being in another world entirely, at a junction between different universes and histories--the past almost feels abstract. That doesn't mean that he can just forget the crimes that Xue Yang committed, or - more selfishly - the pain that it had also caused Xiao Xingchen. Everything still happened, and things like justice and evil still must mean something in the scheme of everything that is. Yet he doesn't feel roused by Xue Yang getting his due, nor any satisfaction by justice being finally meted out.
Somehow, he can only think about the portraits showed the two of them in death, side by side. The same fate, in the end. Whether Xue Yang somehow killed him, or if it was by some other matter, or even if it's an illusion that means nothing... a feeling he can't put a name to takes up space within his heart, along with all the strange thoughts building up ever since he arrived at this place.]
However things might have happened in our world, maybe... it need not be the same here.
[The portrait showed himself as someone who died young, in a violent matter, and never any closer to what change he meant to bring to the world. For what reason does he have to accept such a fate? Does it do any good to anyone to let this happen to him?
What, were you thinking about letting this change anything? After all that's happened?
[ He asks with a roll of his eyes. ]
Daozhang Xiao Xingchen, it's been so long. You've been so eager to ignore your past that you threw yourself into living like this at the first chance. So now you know; so what? Just keep ignoring it and things will stay the same.
[ Even if Xiao Xingchen has some grand ideas about bringing Xue Yang to justice or whatever, it's plenty clear that things are much better when they live together like they've been doing. Both before, and now here. And what would "justice" even mean here? The jail is useless. Would he kill Xue Yang personally?
The memory of himself in that painting, lifeless, arm gone, bubbles up in Xue Yang's mind for a moment before he pushes it back down. Those were just someone's idea of a weird joke. They had to be.
[Even while seated like this and the memory looks just as it would have in the past, Xiao Xingchen feels the room continue to spin around him. The sensation makes it harder to think, undercutting his feelings, almost making it easier to go along with what's being said. At least that's surely the reason why these words sound rational. That's the only way he could even entertain the idea of it being that easy.]
That--
[He starts, about to protest, but the words fade along with any remaining conviction in his face. Many others try to resist the hotel's temptations, seeking ways around eating the food--Xiao Xingchen never went so far.
It isn't entirely true. Sexuality is not longer something foreign to him, and he's become more indulgent where he once practiced restraint, but he hasn't gone so far to be complacent with evil. Has he? He always goes about to help people out of any particularly distressing situations, such as times like this. It's only... he knows better than to think that he could ever defeat the source of what keeps them all captive. How could he be blamed for not marching up to it and challenging it? The more likely result would be making things worse for everyone. And if he were to somehow vanquish the power behind the hotel and let everyone go home, would he actually want to leave?
Even before he saw his portrait, he would have hesitated. That life before has been cut short, and so there's nothing waiting for him. A-Qing's portrait showed a young woman still alive, which is all the confirmation that Xiao Xingchen can have that she is fine on her own. Even without him, she'll likely find her way to a good life, just as long as she remembers a little caution sometimes.
He might be falling for a trick, but it reinforces what he already believed to be the case.]
Ignoring everything that happened before as if none of it ever mattered... how can it be that easy? But perhaps you're right. I mustn't...
[The dizziness turns more intense, and he presses his wrist to his forehead. Even while sitting down, and his other hand barely reaches out in time to catch himself before he falls to his side. His voice softens to a whisper, as even his arm looks ready to buckle and collapse.]
I mustn't dwell on the past.
[He could never stop seeing with this blindfold over his eyes, but everything of the memory around him starts fading into blackness.]
[ Xue Yang watches as Xiao Xingchen struggles with himself. Is this really something so hard for him? He already knows that life with just the two of them is fun and easy. Does the fact that now he finally knows it's Xue Yang really make it that hard to accept that?
--Except then Xiao Xingchen is outright collapsing, and that doesn't seem like it should happen. Fall over, sure, that happened to Xue Yang here too, but he's still upright, still conscious--
... Maybe not upright, actually, as Xue Yang startles and unconsciously tries to move forwards and finds himself half sprawled out on the floor for it. What the fuck is up with their balance here? ]
Xiao Xingchen. Hey. Daozhang Xiao Xingchen.
[ There's no response, and Xue Yang gives a sharp tsk. What, is he expected to carry the guy out of here? When he can't even stand, himself? Stupid. Why would he bother with something as ridiculous as that?
He manages to pull himself over to Xiao Xingchen, then after a bit of maneuvering, gets the two of them across the tunnel, and finally out into the next area. ]
[When Xiao Xingchen’s senses return to him, the sight of a familiar ceiling appears before him instantly, flashing in his “vision” as consciousness filters back to him. He remembers feeling of seeing too much too suddenly when first using this blindfold, and while he acclimated to it over time, he never slept wearing it. Waking up with a strange headache still lingering only overwhelmed his senses.
He pulls his blindfold up, over towards his hair without removing it entirely, before awareness of the rest of the situation comes to him. Along with the familiar ceiling, he naturally feels his back on a familiar bed, practically sinking into it. How did he end up back here?
Or… did he actually leave here just now?
In all his time at this place, he doesn’t think he ever had to be carried back here. More than that, however, the scattered memories formed too bizarre of a picture. The hotel is inclined to the unbelievable, but more likely, it was toying with his dreams through his dreams again.
Surely that’s all it was.
As he comes to his conclusion, he hears the faintest sound. It could only be one person.
[ It's not hard to carry Xiao Xingchen anywhere once Xue Yang can get his feet back under him. He doesn't want to deal with anyone right now, not when Xiao Xingchen is unconscious and he's feeling annoyed after whatever happened to lose him his sense of balance back there. By the time they're most of the way back his annoyance has faded, but he keeps on the same familiar path anyway. It's not like they have anywhere else to go. Xue Yang's room? It's not even fit for living in right now.
When he lays Xiao Xingchen down in his bed, Xue Yang's eyes fall to that blindfold. He considers removing it, but in the end, doesn't. What does it matter if Xiao Xingchen can see or not now? Xue Yang's face only still doesn't look like his own because the effects of the candy won't wear off for another half a day or so.
He settles in and pokes at his Watch until he hears the sound of stirring. Xue Yang turns, only to be met with Xiao Xingchen's voice. ]
Hm?
[ He doesn't disguise his voice, but the sound is wordless and rather nondescript anyway. ]
[Xiao Xingchen sits up, the blindfold still upon his forehead. He turns away from the other man while he turns his legs towards the opposite side of the bed. Not a hurried, sudden action, but more out of subconscious habit.]
I had a dream about these... portraits. And people I knew from long ago.
[That's the most that he could say without getting his friend involved in matters that he doesn't need to know of.]
Everything felt so real.
[But he had another dream that felt real before, too. That doesn't mean anything. there's no reason to assume it was the case, not when everything else felt like a dream. His memories were speaking to him; how could it be real?]
You didn't happen to be dreaming too, did you?
[He's not sure the man would care that much about these things, it simply feels important in the case the hotel is toying with them all again.]
[ It comes out disguised. Xue Yang isn't sure what to make of this, if Xiao Xingchen... Did he think the whole thing was a dream? Why? Weirder things have happened in this place than some pictures on the walls of people he knew before. Weirder than the loss of balance, too.
Was this how he wanted to accept it? By pretending he hadn't really figured out anything, and that his friend was still someone else? Pretend he wasn't friends with Xue Yang of all people?
Or did did something make him really, truly think it was a dream? Xiao Xingchen isn't the type to lie. ]
You passed out so I brought you back here. I didn't dream about anything.
[Head still not entirely free of the spinning sensation, Xiao Xingchen's brow furrows. He takes the blindfold all the way off before tucking it into his sleeve and pulling out the ordinary blindfold. At least perhaps not seeing everything will make it feel a bit less troublesome. Perhaps.
If becoming dizzy already felt unusual, passing out like that is something he never does. He knows to expect the unexpected, but the thought is still too strange.]
Everything came on so suddenly. But I truly passed out...? I don't entirely remember where I was. I saw a place from back home, from long ago and--
[Right, he doesn't need to go into further detail about that.]
Ah, I apologize for the trouble of needing to bring me back here.
[ When Xiao Xingchen takes the blindfold off Xue Yang's eyes narrow as they zero in on the back of his head. Not that it's odd for Xiao Xingchen to remove it, especially when they're back in his room, but it seems like more evidence towards the fact that he didn't realize who he was speaking to back then. If he did, wouldn't he be curious how Xue Yang changed his face? Wouldn't he want a closer look?
But it seemed that whatever had happened to him had included some sort of hallucination. After all, nothing in that building was even vaguely reminiscent of anything back home, so unless he'd completely forgotten the looks of things, he wouldn't mistake it. ]
Eh, it's not like I'm missing out on anything. All that place did was make people dizzy. Food stalls weren't that interesting either; they sell better food at Birdbucks.
[ Particularly to brownies. Compared to those, even the banana choco was only mildly tasty.
So... where were things like between the two of them now? Nothing had changed, right? "Xue Yang" was just a dream, said by coincidence. ]
no subject
During his wandering through the funhouse, one of the portraits had caught his attention. It seemed familiar yet not, somehow, and though he instantly guessed it was the hotel being strange again that didn't stop him from taking a few steps closer.
But then a voice calls out to him and snaps him back to the present, startling him and immediately freezing him in place afterwards. Xiao Xingchen is here?... Can he see? Can he not?
There's only one safe option for Xue Yang here. Without responding he slips a candy in his mouth and immediately swallows, then walks down the hall and away from Xiao Xingchen. He needs to buy himself just a bit of time as he tries to set his disguise in place before the man manages to get a look at him. ]
no subject
[Xiao Xingchen hesitates at first as he sees the figure move in the direction away from him as he calls out. Is it an apparition of the hotel? Or someone who can't hear him?
He starts to walk closer, trying to makes sense as he approaches, but he doesn't want to rush over and startle them. Though as he gets closer, he notices one of the paintings on the walls. The surprise is great enough that he turns away from the figure for a moment to look at the painting more closely.
It's of a young woman in the kind of clothing that he can recognize. Her eyes appear clouded and white, and she carries a bamboo stick in her hands.
Though he had never seen her before, he can't help but wonder as he looks closer...]
no subject
Pretending not to hear he continues forwards, making his way further into the building along the strange hallway. By now he's become used to arranging his face without a reflection to look at, so the process goes smoothly. By the time he's pulling out a fake pinky from the stub on his left hand, Xiao Xingchen's footsteps behind him have already--
--stopped?
Why did he stop?
Xue Yang turns around in surprise and catches sight of what Xiao Xingchen, then what he's looking at. Before he thinks to stop himself he blurts out, ]
Little Blind?
[ Why is a picture of her here? Did she get brought here too? ]
no subject
You're here, too...
[His voice sounds absent as he turns to look back at the painting, expression soft and wistful.
Life has turned out to be more strange than he could have ever expected. Actually having the chance to see his friend once felt outside the realm of possibility, but A-Qing as well? He had thought he no longer needed to think of the old coffin house as his home anymore, resigned to believing that A-Qing would surely get along fine without him, as long as she made sure to not do anything too bold. Now seeing her, he feels a pang in his heart. The matters of his heart have only become even more complicated in this place.
At least back then, he could pretend he had put the past behind him as he preoccupied himself with that uneventful life.]
So this really is her.
cw: reference to canon death
Yeah. Small, ugly, has those eyes that can't see anything.
[ There's annoyance in his voice, though not quite contempt. ]
Wonder what a picture of her is doing--
[ But his voice suddenly catches as his gaze lands on a different portrait. A few spots down from A-Qing, understated for how shocking the subject is, is another familiar face. But this isn't someone left behind where they came from, or even before that: this is Xiao Xingchen.
His clothes are a memory, stolen from him here and never returned, the familiar mostly-white robes those of bygone days. Their color makes the red on them all the more stark, a crimson pouring from a deep gash in his neck, the oil paint with candlelight dancing on it almost making it look freshly-spilled. Similarly stained are the bandages across his eyes, as if tears but not, a sight Xue Yang hasn't seen for an even longer time.
He doesn't finish his sentence. He's already forgotten what he was even saying. ]
no subject
Must I keep the peace even when you two aren't together?
[He never perceived their bickering as anything other than just that. The two of them were simply so similar on some level that they couldn't help butting heads, it felt like.
But as his friend cuts off, Xiao Xingchen looks up as well. Is there something dangerous here? Looking to his friend, he follows the man's gaze.
By now, he had come to believe that he was used to this place's tricks. Usually it was a matter of being inconvenienced for the purpose of having sex, likely because the entire place had to be some sort of cauldron. The place had all matter of technology to make their lives convenient to help towards that end, and so it was easy to forget about the other side of it all: the hotel's dark and violent nature.]
I-I... what is...
[His throat tightens, making it difficult to choke out his words, the feeling only worse as his gaze fixes onto the gash across his portrait's neck.]
no subject
Then suddenly a sharp bark of laughter pierces the air, and the corners of his mouth twist upwards. ]
Really? Really? [ His next laugh slips out without any breath to it. ] You're gonna--try to show us this? Some bullshit like this? Do you really think we'd take this seriously?!
[ But his expression freezes again as Xiao Xingchen's voice drifts over, a ragged whisper, its direction distinctly not from the man next to him.
"You... did this..." ]
no subject
He takes a quick glance to his sides and tries to sense if anything might approach.
Clearing his throat, he manages a calmer tone, even if he can't rid himself of the slight quaver in his voice.]
Come, do not pay it any mind. Surely it's some cruel idea of a trick.
[He steps back, which gives him a clearer view of all the portraits nearby. To the other side of A-Qing's portrait, he sees many other faces he can recognize from their world. One of them appears without a head, with the only clue to his identity being that of a muscular upper body. He doesn't have much time to give that much thought as he looks to the other side to find another face.
Xue Yang.
Facial features older and more haggard, blood flowing freely from where his arm once was... all the life drained from his eyes.
Xiao Xingchen forgets his own advice as he stares again, wordless.]
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And only after realizing he's still staring does he manage to forcibly tear his gaze away. Back to Xiao Xingchen, distinctly alive and uninjured. But his expression now--
Xue Yang knows immediately that he shouldn't look and yet his gaze follows the direction of Xiao Xingchen's face anyway, and he feels his heart stutter at what he sees. That's... that's himself. But he realizes it immediately, there's something off. His facial structure is slightly different from the one he sees in the mirror, and those clothes... he's never worn those before. So is this just a picture crafted by someone who doesn't quite know what he looks like? Or is it supposed to be far in the future from his present self?
--He's not supposed to recognize himself, he belatedly realizes, and forcibly turns his gaze to Xiao Xingchen once more. ]
... Daozhang?
[ His throat feels dryer than he expected it to. ]
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Let's leave this place.
[He would much rather brave the challenges and dangers of the other rooms than stay here any longer.
Fist so tight it shakes, he strides towards the threshold of next room.
The room ahead appears to be a tunnel with an illusion within making it appear to spin. It's nothing like he's ever seen before, and even more disorienting than the rooms before, but it doesn't slow his approach. If anything, the look of it seems to be distracting enough for his thoughts. At least he can focus on what to do next, rather than consider his feelings at this moment.]
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... Why is he even dwelling on this? It's stupid. No one would be able to land such a blow on Xiao Xingchen of all people. He would only be able to if he crushed him first, and that weird voice had blamed him for whatever happened. Or Xiao Xingchen? But probably him.
His own portrait was painted wrong, too. It's stupid to dwell on this.
Following close, Xue Yang reaches the threshold of the strange tunnel soon after Xiao Xingchen, and pauses only to quickly observe it and make sure it's actually steady. But no, double-checking it, it's just a trick that makes it seem like it's spinning. He follows Xiao Xingchen in...
... and the moment both of them are inside, the floor seems to give a lurch to the side that's slow yet sudden at the same time. Even with a cultivator's balance, Xue Yang finds himself unexpectedly stumbling. ]
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A-Ah... hold on!
[Even if one of them might make the other fall, it's better that they hold onto each other.
The words won't help in trying to not stumble, however, and he steps towards the middle of the path only to feel as if his feel are being pushed back towards the side.]
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"Xue Yang...!"
The moment his hand presses to the wall, while he's still reeling, Xue Yang hears a voice angrily call his name and he immediately freezes. Because it isn't just any voice... It's Xiao Xingchen's voice.
When? How? What gave him away? Why is Xiao Xingchen saying something now of all times? These and a hundred other thoughts race through his head as Xue Yang fails to actually keep himself on his feet and instead finishes his fall, ending in a leaning half-squat against the wall. ]
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Noticing that the man is braced against the wall, he tries to ready himself to catch himself on it as well.
Just as his fingertips press against the cool surface, vertigo overtakes him. He thought the room felt as if it was spinning before, he loses all of his sense of up or down. The lights swirl altogether before him, rearranging themselves into bizarre patterns and flashing different colors. He's thrown completely off his guard-- the color hadn't returned to his face, and he breaks out into a cold sweat as he winces from his sickening feeling.
Eventually, the lights begin to form an image. Blurry at first, but something is surely there. He tries to focus his gaze, even if he hasn't needed to do that for a long time. A frigid breeze sweeps around him, and he can feel snow in the air, landing on skin uncovered by white robes.
He doesn't need long to recognize the scene once it becomes more distinct.
This was Lanling during the winter that he was there with Song Lan. Why was he there? He wasn't entirely sure, but he had enjoyed the sights and smells of a large city, going on about all these new things to his companion. While they toured the food stalls, the two of them had heard a commotion, and went to intervene. Xiao Xingchen had arrived a moment later as Song Lan had already readied for combat with a young man in Lanling Jin clothing.
The young man bared his fangs at the two of them, glaring and contemptuous, yet Xiao Xingchen did not feel any fear or anger in turn. All Xiao Xingchen saw was someone who could surely be set back onto the righteous path.]
Xue Yang...
[He says the name softly, full of uncertain emotions. Was he truly dead?]
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It's only then that his gaze drags across the floor and over to Xiao Xingchen. He doesn't look like he's doing much better than Xue Yang is, also needing to brace himself against the wall in this bizarre room. A wry grin comes to Xue Yang's face, but for some reason he doesn't feel like actually laughing. He thinks Xiao Xingchen probably isn't looking at him, but it's always stupidly hard to tell when his sight doesn't come from eyes.
He never would have expected his ruse to come undone so unceremoniously, with Xiao Xingchen simply calling his name like it was almost nothing. He had always figured it would be some grand reveal that he'd gloat about, laugh in Xiao Xingchen's face about how naive he'd been yet again. But like this, even gloating felt out of place. As if this was normal already. ]
Daozhang Xiao Xingchen. [ When he speaks, he's dropped the change in his voice. He shifts a little in an attempt to sit up straighter, hold his chin up like he isn't one small tip from falling over again. He's grinning, but it somehow lacks any sense of smugness. ] So what are you gonna do now?
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Yet he's now confronted by that man in the portrait, back when he was young and Xiao Xingchen had no idea of his crimes. Not only in thoughts coursing through his mind like one being forced to watch the films of the hotel, but the memory is outright asking him, sitting down casually before him.
The other figures within the memory stand as still as statues, the rest of the world in that memory unimportant at this moment.]
I--
[His mouth moves, but those are the only words that can come out at first. He pushes out a breath of air as he lowers his head and his shoulders slump. Trying to think about what he feels while still needing to mind his step the entire time isn't helping at all, so after a moment, he smooths over the lower part of his robes before kneeling down onto the floor.
If this is just a memory toying with him, it doesn't matter what he says, surely.]
I don't know. I don't even know what I should feel. [He laughs softly, despite himself, his forehead in his hand.] Everything about back then... it's so far away from where I am now.
[Not only his separation from cultivation society, but being in another world entirely, at a junction between different universes and histories--the past almost feels abstract. That doesn't mean that he can just forget the crimes that Xue Yang committed, or - more selfishly - the pain that it had also caused Xiao Xingchen. Everything still happened, and things like justice and evil still must mean something in the scheme of everything that is. Yet he doesn't feel roused by Xue Yang getting his due, nor any satisfaction by justice being finally meted out.
Somehow, he can only think about the portraits showed the two of them in death, side by side. The same fate, in the end. Whether Xue Yang somehow killed him, or if it was by some other matter, or even if it's an illusion that means nothing... a feeling he can't put a name to takes up space within his heart, along with all the strange thoughts building up ever since he arrived at this place.]
However things might have happened in our world, maybe... it need not be the same here.
[The portrait showed himself as someone who died young, in a violent matter, and never any closer to what change he meant to bring to the world. For what reason does he have to accept such a fate? Does it do any good to anyone to let this happen to him?
If he stays here, it won't.]
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[ He asks with a roll of his eyes. ]
Daozhang Xiao Xingchen, it's been so long. You've been so eager to ignore your past that you threw yourself into living like this at the first chance. So now you know; so what? Just keep ignoring it and things will stay the same.
[ Even if Xiao Xingchen has some grand ideas about bringing Xue Yang to justice or whatever, it's plenty clear that things are much better when they live together like they've been doing. Both before, and now here. And what would "justice" even mean here? The jail is useless. Would he kill Xue Yang personally?
The memory of himself in that painting, lifeless, arm gone, bubbles up in Xue Yang's mind for a moment before he pushes it back down. Those were just someone's idea of a weird joke. They had to be.
They had to be. ]
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That--
[He starts, about to protest, but the words fade along with any remaining conviction in his face. Many others try to resist the hotel's temptations, seeking ways around eating the food--Xiao Xingchen never went so far.
It isn't entirely true. Sexuality is not longer something foreign to him, and he's become more indulgent where he once practiced restraint, but he hasn't gone so far to be complacent with evil. Has he? He always goes about to help people out of any particularly distressing situations, such as times like this. It's only... he knows better than to think that he could ever defeat the source of what keeps them all captive. How could he be blamed for not marching up to it and challenging it? The more likely result would be making things worse for everyone. And if he were to somehow vanquish the power behind the hotel and let everyone go home, would he actually want to leave?
Even before he saw his portrait, he would have hesitated. That life before has been cut short, and so there's nothing waiting for him. A-Qing's portrait showed a young woman still alive, which is all the confirmation that Xiao Xingchen can have that she is fine on her own. Even without him, she'll likely find her way to a good life, just as long as she remembers a little caution sometimes.
He might be falling for a trick, but it reinforces what he already believed to be the case.]
Ignoring everything that happened before as if none of it ever mattered... how can it be that easy? But perhaps you're right. I mustn't...
[The dizziness turns more intense, and he presses his wrist to his forehead. Even while sitting down, and his other hand barely reaches out in time to catch himself before he falls to his side. His voice softens to a whisper, as even his arm looks ready to buckle and collapse.]
I mustn't dwell on the past.
[He could never stop seeing with this blindfold over his eyes, but everything of the memory around him starts fading into blackness.]
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[ Xue Yang watches as Xiao Xingchen struggles with himself. Is this really something so hard for him? He already knows that life with just the two of them is fun and easy. Does the fact that now he finally knows it's Xue Yang really make it that hard to accept that?
--Except then Xiao Xingchen is outright collapsing, and that doesn't seem like it should happen. Fall over, sure, that happened to Xue Yang here too, but he's still upright, still conscious--
... Maybe not upright, actually, as Xue Yang startles and unconsciously tries to move forwards and finds himself half sprawled out on the floor for it. What the fuck is up with their balance here? ]
Xiao Xingchen. Hey. Daozhang Xiao Xingchen.
[ There's no response, and Xue Yang gives a sharp tsk. What, is he expected to carry the guy out of here? When he can't even stand, himself? Stupid. Why would he bother with something as ridiculous as that?
He manages to pull himself over to Xiao Xingchen, then after a bit of maneuvering, gets the two of them across the tunnel, and finally out into the next area. ]
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He pulls his blindfold up, over towards his hair without removing it entirely, before awareness of the rest of the situation comes to him. Along with the familiar ceiling, he naturally feels his back on a familiar bed, practically sinking into it. How did he end up back here?
Or… did he actually leave here just now?
In all his time at this place, he doesn’t think he ever had to be carried back here. More than that, however, the scattered memories formed too bizarre of a picture. The hotel is inclined to the unbelievable, but more likely, it was toying with his dreams through his dreams again.
Surely that’s all it was.
As he comes to his conclusion, he hears the faintest sound. It could only be one person.
I had… the strangest dream.
[He rubs at his forehead, obscuring his face.]
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When he lays Xiao Xingchen down in his bed, Xue Yang's eyes fall to that blindfold. He considers removing it, but in the end, doesn't. What does it matter if Xiao Xingchen can see or not now? Xue Yang's face only still doesn't look like his own because the effects of the candy won't wear off for another half a day or so.
He settles in and pokes at his Watch until he hears the sound of stirring. Xue Yang turns, only to be met with Xiao Xingchen's voice. ]
Hm?
[ He doesn't disguise his voice, but the sound is wordless and rather nondescript anyway. ]
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I had a dream about these... portraits. And people I knew from long ago.
[That's the most that he could say without getting his friend involved in matters that he doesn't need to know of.]
Everything felt so real.
[But he had another dream that felt real before, too. That doesn't mean anything. there's no reason to assume it was the case, not when everything else felt like a dream. His memories were speaking to him; how could it be real?]
You didn't happen to be dreaming too, did you?
[He's not sure the man would care that much about these things, it simply feels important in the case the hotel is toying with them all again.]
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[ It comes out disguised. Xue Yang isn't sure what to make of this, if Xiao Xingchen... Did he think the whole thing was a dream? Why? Weirder things have happened in this place than some pictures on the walls of people he knew before. Weirder than the loss of balance, too.
Was this how he wanted to accept it? By pretending he hadn't really figured out anything, and that his friend was still someone else? Pretend he wasn't friends with Xue Yang of all people?
Or did did something make him really, truly think it was a dream? Xiao Xingchen isn't the type to lie. ]
You passed out so I brought you back here. I didn't dream about anything.
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If becoming dizzy already felt unusual, passing out like that is something he never does. He knows to expect the unexpected, but the thought is still too strange.]
Everything came on so suddenly. But I truly passed out...? I don't entirely remember where I was. I saw a place from back home, from long ago and--
[Right, he doesn't need to go into further detail about that.]
Ah, I apologize for the trouble of needing to bring me back here.
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But it seemed that whatever had happened to him had included some sort of hallucination. After all, nothing in that building was even vaguely reminiscent of anything back home, so unless he'd completely forgotten the looks of things, he wouldn't mistake it. ]
Eh, it's not like I'm missing out on anything. All that place did was make people dizzy. Food stalls weren't that interesting either; they sell better food at Birdbucks.
[ Particularly to brownies. Compared to those, even the banana choco was only mildly tasty.
So... where were things like between the two of them now? Nothing had changed, right? "Xue Yang" was just a dream, said by coincidence. ]
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